Light On, Darkness Off
In my battle with depression, I've learned a lot about my brain.
The brain is an organ just like any other organ in the body. It can be healthy, and it can become unhealthy. Like our heart or our lungs, it requires care.
Most of us already know what that care looks like:
- Eat healthy.
- Exercise.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Limit caffeine.
- Get enough sleep.
- Build healthy relationships with healthy people.
I've also learned that mindfulness matters. I have to be intentional about avoiding the habits that slowly pull me in the wrong direction.
Things like:
- Working too much without taking breaks.
- Constant worrying.
- Endless screen time.
- Arguing.
- Living in a constant state of anger or frustration.
- Alcohol abuse.
- Stimulant abuse (caffeine, gambling, excessive spending, illicit drugs).
- Trying to control everything.
- Sex addiction.
- Emotional or excessive eating.
Let's just call that entire list one thing:
Darkness.
So, in theory, the solution sounds simple:
Stay away from darkness—and from people who are committed to living in it.
Simple... right?
Not exactly.
Modern life often feels like it requires me to practice the very things that make me unhealthy.
"I have to stare at a screen all day or I won't have a job."
"I have to answer every message immediately."
"I'm constantly on the go. Healthy food is hard. A sugary drink and a shot of caffeine? Sure. It's only ten bucks."
"I'm exhausted trying to keep up with everything everyone expects from me—and everything I expect from myself."
"I need caffeine because I barely slept... because I stayed up worrying about everything."
"I spend too much money. I eat too much. I gamble. I'm looking for a reward because I desperately want to feel happy—even if it's only for a few minutes."
"I bury myself in my phone looking for validation, connection, meaning, or any kind of relationship because my real-life relationships are struggling."
"I don't have time to build a real relationship, so I'll settle for a quick fix."
"Tinder. OnlyFans. PornHub."
"Everything is replaceable. If I don't like my job, I'll replace it. If I don't like my spouse, I'll replace them."
"The real world is depressing. I guess I'll spend more time online than offline."
"If I just had more money... then I'd finally be free."
But what if we all responded differently?
What if we looked that list in the eye and said:
"Darkness, get away from me."
I'm putting the phone down.
The email can wait until tomorrow.
I'm meal-prepping because my body deserves good food.
I'm going to bed on time.
I don't need caffeine today because I actually slept.
I never needed coffee as a kid, and I wouldn't give it to my son. Why have I convinced myself I can't function without it now?
I don't need to spend money to reward myself. My greatest rewards are peace, time, and freedom.
I'm going to spend time with real friends—and I don't need to post about it.
I'm going to build relationships that aren't based on sex, validation, or the size of my bank account.
I'm going to invest in people who will still be there twenty years from now.
I'm going to find hobbies that exist in the real world.
I was born free. Freedom was a gift from God.
I'm not going back to slavery—not to addiction, not to fear, not to endless striving, and not to darkness.
Light On. Darkness Off.
— John 1:5
